agdoen moneymaker, take a bow

Posted by James Robertson on July 6, 2010

Agdoen moneymaker is one of my best friends. His name is dervived from poker champion Chris Moneymaker. Moneymaker has become infamous for this late night adventures in claremont. I cannot tell you how many times hes gone down there on a solo mission and come right.

He has one brilliant manouver, namely the claw. The claw is a technique that has one of two outcomes – a slap or a kiss. And so goes the story of Agdoen Moneymaker.

its christmas, girls

A few nights ago I went on my own solo mission down to our local pub havanas. I knew it would be a quiet night and I decided to plonk myself right at the bar.

When I say the bar chicks here are hot, you just have no idea. Pictures do no justice to them. Every word that rolls of the tounge of these argentinian and polish spanish girls sends a shiver down my spine. Its the sort of lust that will drive you crazy as you are so far out of your league, but they are just being so fucking nice to you!

I don’t have the same weaponary in my arsenal as Agdoen Moneymaker. In reality I’m actually a really shy person, who needs a few good ice breakers before I can settle into a conversation. But give me a beer and I’ll take my clothes off and make a speech (larry lakeshore – naked politician).

After spending about 2 hours and 16 euros at the bar, I decided to make my move. I had been playing soduku on the local newspaper. I tore off a little strip and wrote a little note: Ola! I was too nervous to ask you this in person, but I would like to take you on a date! My number is 74jhfivejf332.

I was supposed to leave it at the bar and then leave, stylishly. But that didn’t really work out as when I looked up, I had a freshly poured Mahou in front of me, and two very inquisitive eyes of Mino! Before I knew it the note was in her hands, with me sheepishly cringing and dying of embarrasment.

Larry lakeshore, mission accomplished, larry lakeshore!

I have a date at 8 pm tonight, with the girl of my dreams! There is one small itsby bitsy little snag though, she has a boyfriend. So its kind of a half completed mission. But let me tell you, 2 hours of speaking to a polish girl who speaks fluent spanish is better than any sex Ill ever have!

I should probably state that my intentions are honourable, and im just looking for a bit of a gees. So if the boyfriend somehow reads this, peace.

naaat

Life´s most important decisions are made in the fridge

Posted by James Robertson on July 5, 2010

Life’s most important decisions are made in the fridge” – Larry Lakeshore, 03/07/2010, Palma de Mallorca, Spain

Last night I went out with some fellow couchsurfers in Magaluf. Was fun to meet some random people, as well as get out of Palma. Magaluf is where everyone heads to party, and millions of fucking tourists everywhere (I dont consider myself a tourist!).

my new friends

”
couchsurfers unite

I need to now introduce the couch. People who know me (I’m quite a big deal you know), will tell you about my love affair with the corner of my couch. It is the most comfortable couch you have ever seen in your life, and when hungover, I chill on it harder than you would ever believe.

you are amazing you jean pant couch

deacoff is owning that couch

Well I’m sorry to let my beautiful couch know that I have found another… I just can’t get off it. And the only time that I can is to go to the fridge. It is at this point that I came up with my brilliant quote.

I opened the fridge, and just couldn´t decide what I felt like. Salami or ham¿ Coke or beer¿ Simple in nature, yet far more complex in reality… A ham bugette without tomatoe¿ Is that what I really want¿ Is it too early to crack a beer, and by myself too¿ Being on holiday is a tough job…

hi fridge, i love you

you can see what i contribute to the house…

I know I´ve been bad about posting shit. But do not worry, last night I opened a can of worms. I have a very exciting mission to carry out, and I never fail! Larry, Larry Lakeshore

Dear Mom, I´m not coming home. Love Larry

Posted by James Robertson on July 2, 2010

Hi mom,

I am writing to inform you that I am not coming home, ever. Thank you for everything you have done for me. We had a fantastic run, and many good memories.

All my love
Larry

portels

are you joking¿

tits out for the boys

hi, im larry

deakorf

rambone

stop it

digsies

My first Couchsurfing Experience

Posted by James Robertson on July 1, 2010

Everything you´ve ever wanted to know! No, not really. Im not gonna try act like an expert, that would be like someone whose had a cheeseburger claiming they know the meaning of a Big Mac.

I posted a while ago about how nervous I was. When I started filling out requests in Cape Town, I would be too excited to go to sleep! But because of what had happened I didnt think I was going to make a very good surfer, as I really didnt want to be some sort of basket case for my hosts.

I arrived at the flat, and felt immediately safe. Catarina and Manuel made me feel right at home. They took me out for a beer to watch the Argentina Mexico game, and then cooked me this delicious honey and mustard steak, with some form of patatoe hash brown (i´ll have to reinterrogate her as to what it was exactly!).

fucking delicious!

Over a couple of beers (actually quite a few!) we shared stories. I found some of Catarina´s recent passed so fascinating, and actually really inspiring. I´m not sure I want to got into too much detail, but i will say that she recently took a completely new career direction, and I really admire the fearlessness in what shes doing. In a little while I´ll find myself at the same cross road, and i hope to have the same courage.

Anyway! Back to the surfing, bru! Couchsurfings concept is brilliant. People from two completely different walks of life, for a few days, share a house. Whatever the different backgrounds there is always one thing in common, free spirited travel.

As a hostee I think it is important to try and feel at home as soon as possible. No one likes awkward situations, and the people who host you genuinely want you there (well I felt like that!).

We just finished an awesome Portugeuse style chicken (way better than Nandos!), with amazing sweet chilli sauce, and Batata Fritas. Catarina´s brother had arrived that evening, and we shared a few more beers and exchanged a few war stories. I hope mine didnt cook them out too much!

yum yum yum

To my hosts: Thank you so much for having me! You really did make me feel at home, and it was awesome getting to know you! My first couchsurfing experience was definitely an Ag JA! If you ever in Cape Town, or wherever I may be, I would love to host you!! Love Larry

my couch!

catarina and i

the lift has no door! as you go you can see the floors go passed! this is a rather graphic indication of what could go wrong with a dustbin…

Down but not out

Posted by James Robertson on June 30, 2010

I left Portugal today with a smile on my dial. I have always been a glass half full kind of guy, and refuse to let one bad experience ruin my holiday.

Portugal is an amazing country, with beautiful people, and mega hot betties!

Dear Cape Town, you may have the football cup, but we have the sun!

Costa Da Capriace was so nice, to just leave my hectic life behind, losing track of time lying on the beach and staring out to the ocean. Spending time with my brother and his beautiful girlfriend, Ana, was wack. Hearing his stories of his year of travelling psyched me up for my own journey. Ana you must come visit us!!

Oasis backpackers was a really good move. Those people know how to party! Everyone I met there had a huge impact on my life, and i hope to have had one on theirs. Especially my dddooodddoooo friends Golshan and Ava!

My couchsurfing hosts were awesome. They made me feel a part of their home, and I wish I could have stayed longer (my post on couchsurfing is still to come).

To the girls in the accident with me: I am so glad you contacted me. Your emails meant a lot. In no way do i want you to feel responsible for what happened. It was a freak accident. I had so much fun dancing with you, we really did pull some moves! One day, when i visit PT again, I hope to meet up with you, and this time we will walk home! i will write back soon btw, internet time is very limited!

Good bye Portugal – you´re bloody fucking fantastic!

looking for their next victim

i couldnt find the bus to the airport, so i had to take a fucking taxi!

seatbelt is on

Update!

What i just wrote was done on the back of my boarding pass, whilst sitting in Lisboa airport. Easy jet is a non reserved airline, so i was pretty excited to choose my seat. I parked myself next to a hot betty, and immediately got to work.

Could my dream of joining the mile high club actually come true? Was this my moment¿

She was an Erasmus student, on her way to Ibiza with her other two hot Brazilian friends! Ag ja! Truth be told i didnt really have the balls to pop the question. I thought of getting a beer to calm the nerves, but the flight was so short I admitted defeat.

im going to rio

I got her email address (as good as a number for us tech geeks), and shes got my blog address. Its probably quite rude that im writing about her like this, but a true gentlemen always makes his intentions known!

Im now in Madrid, waiting for my flight to Mallorca to meet Deacs and Rawbs in time for the second half of Portugal Vs Spain — good chance of me getting drunk tonight!

thanks, you were fucken on time

Christopher Columbus was from Portugal, and, Where for out thou GPS

Posted by James Robertson on June 29, 2010

The funnest part about blogging for me is thinking of a title. This time I just couldnt decide though.

My host asked me why Portugal last night. To which I embarrasingly answered that up until about a year ago, I thought Christopher Columbus was Portugeuse. For a guy who loves the story of CC so much, you would think he would know his nationality.

Catarina was very quick to recorrect me though. Apparantly the first authority that Chris approached, was in fact the Portugeuse monarchy. Whether he was born in Portugal is up for debate, but ask any Portugeuse person and they will tell you so! I think ill go with the Portugeuse here.

Where for out thou GPS? In the accident my phone got thrown somewhere as I was using its GPS to find my backpackers. Now Iºve been wondering the streets with a map, too which I am totally useless at using.

To be fair, the GPS didnt really work that well anyway. Because the buildings of the streets are so high, you can never really get good satellite coverage, and it would update so slowly that you could never really tell your direction. My solution? I bought a compass! Once I got the hang of using both I could find anything. Yes, I know, brilliant.

Time to be a tourist

Ag ja, Iºll title my paragraphs as well!

I set out early today to enjoy my last full day of Lisbon. Catarina supplied me with a map last night, and pointed me to this area where she stated my only responsility of staying with them, is that I go and try the pastry there. I immediately thought to myself, its time to find that bloody chocolate eclaire!

My fellow blogger and unicorn friend (www.findingmypony.wordpress.com) will tell you of my search for the ultimate chocolate eclaire. Will I find it, we will have to see…

My day started how any good day in Europe should, with a coffee for breakfast. Fuck the coffees good here! After that it was time for my love affair with the Metro to continue. I reloaded my zapper card, and road aimlessly around until I found a spot I liked.

best way to start the day

my new area

you are amazing

thing about the metro here is that its the underground stations are huge, its like missioning through and airport

It just so happened to be the city centre, the location of that dreaded Gay pride festival. I decided to get the hell out of there, and jumped on the first Tram I saw. These things are bloody amazing! We almost hit like three cars. I find it so cool how they run on the same roads as cars do.

Dear Tram, I love you, I love you so much that words cannot describe! Forever yours, Larry

dom naai

I arrived in pastry heaven, the area is called Bellem, and saw this huge bloody tower over looking the river. There wasnt much debate between me and, well me, if we should go up. Ag Ja! The view was amazing.

that is one giant penis

im guessing these dudes were explorers

golden gate bridge. one would be forgiven for thinking youºre in San Fran Sico, bridge and trams!

larry lakeshore, larry lakeshore, larry lakeshore, LARRY BLOODY LAKESHORE

siiiiiiic

apparantly discovering the cape of good hope was a major event in portugeuse history. yes, sometimes i do tell you useful things

From there I went to the modern art museum. I didn’t really understand the art, but definitely appreciated it. Its free by the way.

its the larry lakeshore band

backwards man, the backwards man

i would love to take a betty in there

you see why?

who needs a chinese tourist when youºve got this room?!

My stomach started to argue with me that it was now lunch time. So I set out on my pastry mission, in search of my chocolate eclaire. Alas, no chocolate eclaire… But I did find some sort of pizza pie or something! Was bloody delicious.

just wait for my post on the pizza taco…

lost in translation

I tried a few other museums, the planatarium, but unfortunately not much was open on a Monday. If you want to know the opening times, I’m not a fucking tourist guide, buy the book! After having much of bellem covered, I decided to head back to the city centre.

Now I love walking, its the best part about exploring a foreign city. But if theres one thing I hate doing its backtracking. Now begins my story, worthy of the Truman show.

Along the river runs a fast train and I thought I would try it out. Thing is you have to cross this main road to get to it. I couldnt find a pedestrian crossing with traffic lights to stop cars though! After what happened I’ve stopped all forms of J-walking, and have no faith in the cars giving way like a zebra crossing. So I walked, then I went back, then i found an under ground, then I couldnt figure out the ticket machine (cant zap with this train), then I walked backed, then I decided to try again, then I got caught trying to ride for free, then I walked back, and I walked, and I walked. And then, and then, and then, AND THEN AND THEN AND THEN!

yeah right!

So i decided to walk the distance, and about halfway I found a pedestrian crossing with lights! Ag ja!

there is a god

Caught the tram, fuck I love these things. And it was then, close to the centre, that my eyes caught a glimpse of something so beautiful I wanted to cry. I dived for the Farar switch (stop), and sprinted to my baby.

you have the best job in the world…